


Ne Me Laisse Pas

by 250DarkStarsandFearless



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Another Wally's not cheating fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Robin whump, The Team is pissed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 07:04:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13758828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/250DarkStarsandFearless/pseuds/250DarkStarsandFearless
Summary: *Wally is dating Robin.*Artemis finds out Dick is dating Wally.*Batman forbids the duo from filling in the Team.*Everything goes to Hell in a handbasket for Wally.*Then for Robin.*Then everyone else.





	Ne Me Laisse Pas

_"No!"_ Wally's running, feeling time lengthen, his heart thumping with every pound of his superhuman feet against the earth as he watches the bullet sail by him, spinning slowly, speeding toward Robin who's fighting some nameless thug and has no idea death is hurtling his way. Wally seizes the gun from the shooter just as the projectile leaves the barrel, the last of the weapons contained moments too late, and pitches them to the ground as he races against the shot, against  _time_.  

He's screaming, but Robin doesn't hear him, doesn't need to hear him, because Wally loses, Kid Flash too slow to stop the round from slamming into Robin's chest, the lenses of the bird's mask blowing wide as the impact took him down.  Wally's fist collided with the thug's jaw before Robin's body had made complete contact with the earth, the man crumpling into his own heap from the sheer force of it. Something -- several things -- in the young hero's hand cracked, but he took no notice, sliding to his knees in the dirt that was gradually becoming wet and muddy with the blood that trickled out from under his boyfriend's armor.

Shaking, Wally reached for the joins, unhooking the plates and pulling them apart, grabbing Robin's trailing cape to press against the wound.  It was ugly, a wide hole in the pale chest, streaming blood. The bullet had hit above and to the right of the heart, but from the way Rob wheezed, there was damage to his lung, and the bleeding was far too intense for the aggressive pressure Wally was putting on the injury to do more than slow it down.

 _M'gann, Kaldur, somebody, HELP ME!_ He cried out along the mind-link, feeling the wave of dread that raced through the team as they heard the desperation in his call.

The heroes pushed harder, taking a few chances, snagging openings where they may not have moments before, determined to get to their friends as quickly as possible.

Their weapons gone and faced with a batch of angry teenage superheroes, the thugs gave up readily, and M'gann contained them while the others converged on the panicking speedster.

Superboy got there first, quickly pushing Wally's hands aside and pressing down on Robin's chest harder than the sobbing teen could have, frowning even more deeply than normal as he felt his teammate's fragile ribs bend -- and one grate nauseatingly -- under his palms. Robin moaned, lenses sliding open half-way as his head shifted in the dirt. Wally bent over him, grabbing his face and patting one cheek, trying to get the younger boy to look at him.

"Hey, hey, Rob, it's okay, I'm here, hey, look at me, c'mon dude, you have to look at me, I gotta know you're awake man," the words tripped off his tongue in no particular order, small sobs catching them, hanging them up on tiny gasping breaths as Robin didn't reply.

"What the  _Hell happened,_ Wally!" Artemis shouted from above them. The speedster hadn't noticed her run up, and lifted reddened eyes to her face, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You were supposed to grab all the guns so they  _didn't_ shoot any of us!" Her face was white, bright pink spots coloring her cheeks, tears gathering and fists clenched tight. Kaldur dropped to his knees beside them, fingers darting out to check Robin's pulse, shaking his head at what he found.

"We do not have time for this. We must get Robin back to the Mountain."  _M'gann, bring the Bioship; Robin is gravely injured._

 _On my way._ They ignored the waver in her mental voice, the anxious tension building in the scarce minutes it took for her to arrive, blood seeping through the cape onto Connor's hands, Artemis shaking with rage and fear, Kaldur's brow drawn in worry, fingers never leaving the pulse-point on the side of Robin's neck, Wally desperately clinging to his boyfriend's cheeks, begging him to open his eyes again, to focus, to speak.

When the Bioship uncloaked above them, M'gann flew out immediately, lifting Robin telekinetically, keeping him exactly positioned as he had been on the ground to prevent further injury, taking Connor with him so the pressure on his wound never eased.

A bed table was already formed in the ship, and when she lay him down she waved Connor aside, swiftly wrapping a tendril rising from the alien mattress around Robin to hold the soaked cloak in place against his chest.  Only then did she land the ship so the others could board, and Wally was instantly at Robin's side, holding the young bird's hand in his own, stroking a palm over the other boy's face, whispering to him softly, still crying quiet tears.

"I don't get why he's so upset," Artemis muttered to herself as the ship sped off for Mount Justice. "You'd almost think he wasn't in love with someone else." 

M'gann shot her a nasty look, and Kaldur spoke her name with disappointment. 

"This is not the time, Artemis."

 _If he dies, Kaldur, I will **end** Wally._ Artemis said over the mind-link, unaware or uncaring that Wally could hear her. The speedster flinched hard, dropping his gloves and goggles so he could squeeze the back of his boyfriend's hand against his face, hiding the renewed surge of tears. He was losing everything, and it was no one's fault but his own.

 

* * *

 

Their first kiss had been spontaneous, unexpected,  _incredible_. Rob had just made up another un-word, laughing at the confused look on Connor's face, the boy-wonder cackle giving way to a genuine, hearty laugh of pure joy, and the vague shadow of his eyes under the glasses had met the open, startling green of the speedster's own gaze -- and in a blink, Wally found himself standing between his best friend's knees, one hand on the boy's waist, the other buried in his hair, nose sliding down nose until his lips settled into place with gentle pressure, a low hum vibrating in his throat -- and strong, gentle arms reaching up to embrace him and bring him closer.

Kaldur and Connor were vaguely bemused, but other than that had no comment.

M'gann cooed like she'd seen a baby or a fuzzy kitten.

Artemis stared at them for a moment, arms crossed over her chest, and then said:

"Well. That explains a lot." 

And somehow it was immediately normal.

 

They'd started out at fourteen and seventeen, solid in their friendship and their places on the team, and their new dynamic didn't change much, as though they'd been a couple for years and just hadn't noticed, and maybe they had, and hadn't.

Batman took longer -- much longer -- to convince, a task which involved being captured more than once and refusing to sacrifice the mission for each other, several acts of utter steadfast selflessness, both during and outside of missions, and one episode of Wally just holding Robin as he cried most of the night even though he refused to tell his boyfriend why.

"He's an orphan," the Bat had said, looming over them, staring down at the boy who had sobbed himself to sleep in his boyfriend's arms. Wally felt uncomfortable having this conversation at all, let alone having Robin curled up on his bed in his rooms at Mount Justice, but Batman didn't seem overly concerned about that. "This is the anniversary of his parent's deaths."

"...oh." Wally stroked a hand through the black hair, sliding a tissue-covered finger under the edge of Rob's shades to wipe at the dried tear tracks running down his cheeks. "He wouldn't tell me what it was, said he couldn't because I might figure out who he is."  Batman's head tilted, the lenses of his cowl shifting, and Wally could almost see the eyebrow raised in inquiry. "I just asked him if he'd stay with me. If I could keep him company until he felt better, you know?"

The dark figure knelt before the two boys, gloved fingers reaching out to slide the glasses off Robin's nose.

"Wait--" Wally turned his head up and away from his boyfriend's, knowing he wasn't supposed to see, and came face-to-face with the grey-blue eyes of--

"--Bruce Wayne?" Batman -- Bruce -- Mr. Wayne nodded, looking at his ward as he took the tissue from Wally, stroking it over the swollen, irritated eyes of Dick Grayson, clearing away the gunk from the corners by his nose. He pulled an instant compress from his utility belt, ripping the package open and draping the thin, damp cloth over Dick's eyes, before carefully, gently replacing the shades on Rob's face, tucking the arms over his ears. 

Pulling his cowl back over his face, he rose and reached for his partner. Wally shifted, tenderly easing his boyfriend into Batman's arms, stroking a finger over the sleeping young man's cheek as he drew away. Just before exiting the door, Batman glanced over his shoulder.

"Are you coming, or not?" The voice was rough, growling, utterly  _Batman_ , but this time, Wally heard a softness in it he never had before.

 

* * *

 

Good things never last.

It was wonderful at first, knowing Rob's identity, getting to spend time with Dick  _and_ Robin, hanging out at the Mountain, hanging out at the Manor, going on patrol, watching movies, chilling with the team, playing video games on a screen larger than his bedroom wall.

He didn't know Artemis went to Dick's school.

He knew it was Valentine's Day, and he wouldn't be able to be at Mount Justice, so he wouldn't see Robin to give him a gift or celebrate or  _anything_ , so he found out from Alfred where Dick was and showed up to surprise him.

It wasn't flowers, they weren't like that. Not chocolate, either. It was a video game, an old one, played on a system that nobody used anymore, and that Dick hadn't been able to find. Superspeed gave a guy a lot of time to check out multiple old geek stores that didn't have all of their merchandise recorded digitally, and Wally had been able to hunt down the game. 

It was wrapped in red paper.

Artemis saw him give it to a surprised Dick Grayson, who opened it, punched the air, and hugged Wally. It could've been okay, tossed off as odd and mostly-friendly, if it weren't for what he did next.

Artemis saw Wally slip his arms around Dick, whisper "Happy Valentine's Day, Babe," in his ear, and pull back just far enough to kiss his boyfriend deeply on the mouth.

She was furious, stalking up to them with fists clenched and face white, grabbing Wally by one shoulder.

She spun him around, hauled back, and slapped him hard across one cheek, leaving a vivid red mark that would easily bruise.

"What the Hell!?" Dick shouted, taking Wally's arm and pulling him back away from Artemis. "What is your problem Crock?" His fingers squeezed Wally's arm in warning, then massaged gently, trying to convey his apology for the strike on his face.

"My problem is that your  _buddy_ here is  _supposed_ to be dating one of my friends, not  _kissing you!_ " She fixed her angry glare on Dick for several seconds, debating if she wanted to slap him too, but decided that the pretentious rich kid probably didn't even know there was another boy, judging by the look on his face.

"....Wally?" The speedster looked wildly from Dick to Artemis and back again, absolutely lost as to what to say or do.

"Keep him if you still want him, Grayson," Artemis huffed, turning her back on them. "He's about to be single, because I'm  _going_ to tell Rob, Wally, and if I know him, he's  _not_ going to be happy."  She paused, looking at him over her shoulder, eyes narrowed. "And that's not even getting into what his  _dad's_ going to do to you."

She marched away, headed for the nearest Zeta tube, itching to put her costume on and find Robin, vibrating with fury.

From behind her, she heard Dick's voice softly asking:

"Wally....who's Rob?"

* * *

Dinner with Batman was strained that night in a way it hadn't been since he'd learned the hero's true identity. When they had all finished and Alfred was clearing away the plates, Mr. Wayne cleared his throat, resting his chin on his folded hands, elbows planted firmly on the table.

"You have to let this play out," he said.

"Wait, Bruce--" Dick's plea was cut off with one Bat glare.

"No, I warned you boys about this. Wally can know who we are, but too many people with that information is asking for a leak. Civilians saw Dick and Wally kissing -- the general population knows you have a relationship. Dick and Wally can be together -- Robin and Kid Flash cannot."

"What if Dick and Wally broke up, and Rob and Kid made up?" Dick said, gesturing awkwardly between himself and Wally several times. Bruce shook his head.

"Everyone saw Artemis slap Wally, not Dick slap Wally. It is much more believable that Artemis would be jealous of your relationship or feel betrayed for some reason than it would be for Dick and Wally to suddenly break up because Artemis gave Wally a smack." His brow furrowed, and for a moment he looked just like the Batman, cowl or no cowl. "No, one of the couples has to split, and it works better all around if Robin and Kid Flash aren't together anyway. Only the Team and a few of the League knew about your relationship, so if your hero identities aren't a couple, then villains can't use you against each other that way, and the Team will eventually get over it."

"Mr. Wayne...." Wally looked at the table, his normally cheery face subdued. He pulled his hands down his cheeks, running them back up his face to massage his temples and eyes. "This isn't the sort of thing that just goes down in a good way. How is the Team supposed to be okay with this?"

"Head on over in the morning; I'm sure Artemis will have told them by then. Robin will arrive after school. Argue, storm off, have a good fight, pretend you're not talking to each other for a few days, and then I'll throw you on a recon mission and order you to get along or I'll take you off the team. Make it work, or I might actually have to do that." Bruce stood, dropping a hand on Dick's shoulder as he headed for the Batcave. "I really am sorry about this, boys. But things happen in this line of work, and sometimes we have to make choices we'd rather not have to. Feel free to stay the night, Wally."

 

They'd skipped the video game Dick had been so excited about playing, even though Wally had half-heartedly suggested playing it, and instead curled up on the futon in the entertainment room, Wally spooning the younger teen to his chest, kissing his hair and promising him that everything would be all right -- somehow.

* * *

When Artemis saw him, she stalked out of the room, her death-glare leaving him cold where her usual teasingly-barbed insults put a warm affectionate feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Superboy was staring at him, arms crossed, face as angry as he had ever seen it, looking at him with almost the same expression as when they had first pulled him from the cloning pod.

Kaldur also had his arms crossed, but he was more disappointed than furious, his head shaking back and forth as though he couldn't quite understand Wally's behavior.

M'gann...M'gann was the worst. She half-floated a few inches above the floor, hands over the lower part of her face, tears glistening in her eyes and on the apples of her cheeks. She flew out of the room, chasing Artemis, the words "Poor Robin" hanging on a tiny sob behind her.

"Wally...." Kaldur shakes his head again, the leader of their mismatched crew entirely lost for words.  

Superboy left. He rarely had words anyway.

Kaldur followed him. 

 

They barely speak to him for a week, only brief comments here and there, when absolutely necessary.  He waits for Rob to arrive and Artemis to (much more kindly than he expected) tell him about Wally's 'dalliance' with Dick Grayson, and has the requisite shouting match with the Boy Wonder when his boyfriend comes to find him. They fume their way to opposite sides of the Mountain, the Team taking their time to individually check on Robin and his emotional healthy, while all pointedly ignoring Wally.

After those first several days, Robin stops by Wally as he's grabbing some pizza and heading back to his room, downcast, and awkwardly asks if he wants to 'watch a movie or something' sometime. The tension in Superboy's shoulders increases, and then eases again as Wally carefully agrees 'as long as Robin's sure he wants to. No pressure or anything,' and Robin replies with 'Yeah, we'll just stay out in the living room, and all.'

The movie goes fine, though the other members of the team trickle in slowly, trying to pretend they're not watching Wally like a circling murder of crows.

Wally longs to put his arm around his boyfriend, cuddle him close, kiss his hair, express his affection in any and all of the ways he's been denied the past week because Robin and Kid Flash are broken up and fighting, while Dick and Wally haven't had time to see each other or do more than text and call.

When the movie was over, the team petered back out, leaving Wally and Rob staring awkwardly at each other, well aware that at least someone in the group was hanging back to keep an eye on them -- on Wally, to make sure he didn't do anything to Robin, to hurt him more.

Wally reached out with one hand, three fingers gently touching the point of his boyfriend's shoulder, green eyes staring dolefully into where he knew blue ones stared back.

"I'm sorry, Rob," he said quietly. "You know...I hope you know...I'm  _sorry._ "

Robin's hand rose and patted Wally's comfortingly.

"Yeah, Walls. I know." It wasn't enough, not nearly enough, but it was contact. It was _something_.

The sniff from the hall may have been M'gann.

Or Wally's imagination.

 

Batman had a mission -- and a lecture -- waiting for them the next morning.

* * *

 

M'gann gasped, transferring control of the Bioship to Kaldur without warning. The ship lurched for a moment, then jumped back on course as the Atlantean took over, confused. 

"M'gann, what's wrong?" he asked as the Martian launched herself out of her seat and into the back of the ship just as Robin began to choke and seize.

"Rob!" Wally grabbed his boyfriend's shoulders, gently hauling him upright, leaning him forward over one arm so the cloak stayed pressed against his wound even as the tendril let the bird go, M'gann re-shaping the bed into a recliner and helping Wally ease the younger boy back into place.  Robin had stopped choking, but his breath gurgled and rasped, distinct sounds of air and fluid crackling through his lips along with tiny splatters of blood.

"How much longer, M'gann?" Wally asked, his voice cracked and despairing, nostrils flared as his chest hollowed out with each shuddered exhale.

"Fifteen minutes, Wally. No more than that. We'll get him there, you'll see." Her eyes were puffy and dark green around the edges, having chosen to drop the white-tone camouflage of her skin to expend more energy into the bioship. She was trembling with the strain, with sadness, with fear. "She's going as fast as I can make her, I promise."

Wally didn't tell her that fifteen minutes was more than enough time for someone in Robin's condition to drown in his own blood; he just squeezed his boyfriend's hand tighter, pressed his forehead against the younger boy's, and kept whispering to him.

"C'mon, dude, hang in there. Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me."

* * *

 

Reconnaissance doesn't work out well when your team is irritated with each other. The coordination is just that bit off, even if no one means it intentionally, even when everyone really thinks they've set their differences aside for the time being.

When a simple mistake -- being spotted, something that could happen on any mission -- becomes an excuse to get angry at each other, to take action more swiftly than there is time to make a viable plan.

The mission wasn't as Batman had expected it to be; there were more thugs, less cover, the situation had changed -- but the team not being at their best made everything go downhill when it didn't have to.

It should've been simple. An arms dealer was making a sale, a truck full of weapons and ammunition for two suitcases of money, and a mob of bad guys that wandered into the realm of the extreme. Really, who needed twelve armed guards for a truck and some money? These things usually went down with maybe five or six.

Someone spotted Superboy; the tree cover wasn't great, there weren't any big rocks around, and no tall buildings out in the middle of nowhere to perch on. Just an old dirt road ending in a clearing that had been logged empty a long time ago.

When the rapid-fire mind-link planning session included  _Kid Flash, guns!_ (It was always Kid Flash, never KF, never Wally, never Kid anymore,) he was given no time to reply, to tell them that twice the bad guys meant twice the guns, meant twice the time.

It was three seconds.

Three seconds to do a loop around the clearing, snatch any active firearms, and drop them out of reach.

He was a speedster; he could do that.

He was  _milliseconds_ too slow.

* * *

He was choking again, gasping and coughing, blood spraying from his lips leaving dark red stains on his teeth.

Wally pressed his arm  _hard_ into the chest wound, the other wrapped comfortingly around Robin's back, holding his bird to his heart and tucking the dark head under his chin. The slow suffocation, the force of his body trying to expel the liquid from his lungs, had woken Robin and he was clinging to Wally's arm, plucking at the blood-soaked sleeve.

M'gann was crying, hugging herself with one hand pressed so tightly over her mouth that the green skin around it was nearly white from lack of circulation as she silently wept into Superboy's shoulder. He stood, holding her up, grim and staring at Robin and Wally as though committing every moment to memory.

Kaldur's face was set in stone, focused on the Bioship, intent on nothing else but getting them back to the Mountain, trying to block the sound of his teammate dying from his ears. He was not successful.

Artemis curled up in her seat, invisible to everyone, knees hugged tightly to her body, forehead pressed tightly against them.

Robin  _gurgled_ _,_ gagged, his body seizing again, and when he inhaled, his chest barely moved against Wally. He wasn't getting any more air.

"Walls," he wheezed, sounding like a television-show asthmatic but so, so much more horrifying, "Walls. Wanna...see you."

"I'm here, Rob," Wally sobbed, finally taking his hand off the bullet hole to tilt his boyfriend's head back and look down into the lenses of his mask. "I'm right here."

"No," Robin said, each word forced out on a tiny gasp, barely able to be heard. "Mask...not...the same."

"But, Rob--" Even now, Wally hesitated; he knew it wasn't allowed, knew Batman had forbidden it, didn't know if death changed anything. 

"Doesn't matter now.  _Please._ " Robin tried to tug the mask off, but his fingers shook, skittering away, too weak.

"Okay. Okay, babe. Okay." Wally caressed Dick's face as he touched the seals on the edges of the mask, releasing them, letting the thin strip of highly-advanced technology fall off his boyfriend's face and onto the Bioship's floor.

"Oh,  _Wally,_ " M'gann gasped, and cried harder, burying her whole face in Superboy's shoulder. Wally ignored them, bloody palm curling around Dick's cheek, holding the boy so their eyes met, red-rimmed green to dull blue.

"Wally..." A tiny whisper, not enough air behind it to make a voice, most of the word caught in the movement of sticky red lips, tacky and clinging together, edged in purple-blue. "Love you, Wall...s..." the trailing 's' became a light, airy sigh as Dick lost consciousness, his body fighting for a few more moments to breathe, but failing. 

"No," Wally moaned, dragging his gummy, sanguine fingers down Dick's face to settle into his neck, holding his breath, waiting, hoping. "C'mon, Dude, just a few more minutes...Dick, please, you gotta breathe, give me something!" He felt a beat. Sluggish, more a spasm than a pulse. Too long a wait, and then another, weaker. One more, barely there, aborted.

M'gann gave a tiny scream in Superboy's arms, and Wally knew there would be no more flutters of his boyfriend's heart.

He shifted Dick's body on the bed and settled down behind it, drawing the dead bird to him, tucking the dark head under his chin and wrapping his arms around the younger boy, leaving his fingers on the silent pulse-point, allowing the cloying blood to dry and glue them together. His shoulders trembled, then shook, and finally his ragged breaths turned into full-blown weeping.

"I love you too, Dickie," he sobbed, the nickname he never used unless they were alone slipping out in his grief. " _God,_ I'm so sorry.  I love you too."

If the Team had thought Wally's breakdown when Artemis had died during the simulation was intense, it was nothing compared to the anguish he expressed now. That had been anger, rage, loss and sadness, yes, but this was true, unmitigated despair, and it  _ached_.  Wally's cries were so strong he struggled to breathe nearly as badly as Robin had been, coughing and gagging on his tears.

The Bioship landed, and Kaldur finally was able to drop his face into his hands, wishing he could cover his ears instead and block out the sounds of Wally's misery.

Batman charged up the ramp, seizing his ward and taking him from Wally, heedless of the speedster's wailing " _Noo!"_   The distraught boy scrambled off the alien bed and chased the hero, only to be grabbed and held firm by his uncle Barry, whose face was drawn and concerned.

"Kid, you can't--"

"No!" Wally shouted, snagging the back of Barry's knee with a foot at superspeed and tripping him, a move that only worked because his uncle was distracted and distressed himself. The young speedster zipped through the Mountain -- and was a millisecond too late, once again, as the doors to the infirmary's CCU closed and sealed tight behind Batman. "No!"

He dropped to his knees, leaning against the cold metal, the side of one fist pounding weakly against the closed portal. "No..."

Barry was there moments later, a scrape already healing on his cheek.  He pulled his protege into his arms, rocking him gently.

"I'm so sorry, Wally," he said, rubbing a warm hand over his nephew's back, ignoring the blood covering the young speedster. "This is the worst thing that can happen in our line of work, and I'm so very sorry it had to happen to you like this." He pulled back, tipping the young man's face up to look at him. "The team told me how hard you fought to save him; you did everything you could, okay? You have to understand that, Wally;  _this isn't your fault._ " Wally shoved Barry away, pressing his back to the wall, pulling his knees up to his chest and heaving an empty sob.

"Yes it  _is,_ Barry," he wailed, his voice echoing around the hall, bouncing off the rock and metal eerily. "I got caught bringing him a stupid present, and we had to let the Team think I cheated on him, so everyone was upset, and this mission was supposed to help  _fix_ it, but nothing went right and I was  _nanoseconds_ too slow and he got hit and I couldn't stop the blood; there was  _so much blood_ Barry and then he was dying and I couldn't kiss him goodbye, I couldn't even tell him I loved him because  _we couldn't let them know_ and it's  _all. My. Fault._ " He was gasping, heaving, his words flying out of his mouth so fast they nearly blurred, but he couldn't speed-talk like Barry, and even less when he was just so tired...He hiccuped a few times, worn out, empty, nothing left to say, no tears left to cry -- and saw Artemis looking at him from down the hall, staring at him over the shoulder of a slightly alarmed Barry, her face horrified, eyes wide, tears streaming down her cheeks.

He hated her. Hated all of them, for being willing to believe the worst. For letting their anger get in the way of the mission. Hated Batman for making them lie about this whole awful thing.  _It was **their** fault._

But no. He messed up the first time. He was too slow. This was on him.

He shoved past Barry for the second time in ten minutes, flying past Artemis even as she called out his name, begging him to wait. The bay doors were still open, M'gann still too upset to bring the Bioship in, and he ran out, super-speeding in no particular direction as fast as he possibly could go, feet pounding until he could barely feel them, goggles high on his head so the wind whipped his face and stung his eyes.

He ran until he dropped, chest heaving, tears of pain streaming from his eyes. He was somewhere cool, with a large lake nearby, and creamy white sand piled high into dunes. Probably Michigan or someplace. The water was clear, not salty, and when he went to rinse his face off, he noticed the red streaks all over his hands. He dunked them in the water, staining it pink as he washed the blood from himself as best he could, then moved a few feet away and wiped his raw eyes with clean water, taking a couple drinks -- he was dehydrated beyond belief and knew his metabolism would kill anything in the water unless it was particularly nasty.

He scrubbed his wet hands over his face, running his fingernails into his hair, ignoring it's hardened stickiness as he tried to figure out what to do. He was starving, but the power bar in his storage compartment held no appeal; he wasn't certain if he'd ever want to eat again.

Surprised that Barry hadn't tried to find him yet, he reached up for his comm unit, and discovered it had fallen out of his ear somewhere. He sighed to himself, swallowing against the hard lump in his throat, succeeding only in getting it stuck somewhere in his chest. He should go back anyway; he wanted to be where Dick was.

Exhausted, he practically  _jogged_ back to Mount Justice, taking a detour along the coastline until he found a city he recognized -- Chicago -- and knew exactly how to get back to the Mountain.

The Bioship was parked inside, but Superboy was sitting out under the darkening sky, and Wally slipped quicky through the door propped open behind him, making his way to his room. He wasn't stealthy, but he was fast, and no one saw him to interrupt him before he could collapse on his bed, curl up around the extra pillow that still smelled a bit like Dick's fancy shampoo, and fall asleep.

* * *

_Wally? Hey, Wally, wake up, buddy. I'm going to take you home. Wally?_

_Dinah, meet me in the infirmary; I've got Wally._

 

_Barry said he was unconscious._

_His blood levels indicate he had not eaten since before...before Robin..._

_And then he went running around the planet and lost his earpiece in France!_

_Calm down, Artemis._

_Kaldur, I feel...I feel_ responsible _for this. The things I said..._

_We were all very upset. We were all very wrong._

_Poor Robin...Poor Wally!_

 

_He's...gonna be okay._

_OhthankGod._

_That is good news._

_Can't see him for a while, though. Lost a lot of blood._

_We know. We saw it._

_Artemis, enough._

_Wake up, Wally. Didn't you hear? He's going to be okay._

 

_He's fine now. All his levels are normal, we're pumping him full of nutrients, Dinah's been doing exercises to keep his muscles from atrophying. He should be waking up._

_Minds are complex things, Flash. I have seen humans will themselves into death._

_I know they're close, but J'onn--_

_Wally's mind is still affected by the failsafe simulation. Trauma like that can take years to fully heal. And then he watched someone he deeply loves die in his arms in a horrifying way. His mind does not want to face it._

_But Robin's going to be okay._

_Wally does not know that._

 

_Kid Flash, Kid Flash you must listen._

_Kid -- Wally -- Flash -- Listen_

_Kid -- Listen_

_Wally -- Flash -- Must_

_Wally -- Listen --_

 

_He will not hear me._

_We did not go through all this just to lose him._

_There's gotta be a way. Walls, please, I'm here. Wake up!_

_Uncle J'onn. Maybe...Maybe I can help?_

 

"Wally."

It's dark, and Wally's warm. He's not lying on anything, or drifting, or floating -- he doesn't know if he has a body at all -- but it's warm, and he hears a voice, and the voice feels like  _things_. 

"Wally. KF, c'mere."

It's pulling at him, the voice, drawing at his not-body, and maybe he's made of something, not nothing, because nothing doesn't feel the push and pull of things around it.

"I need you, Walls. Please, come here?" That was a more solid feeling, like maybe feet -- yeah, feet were a thing -- and maybe something under them. But he didn't know what to do with that, or exactly where to go.

"Wally." The voice was a soft pressure against a hand -- hands, those are things too -- a tug, a direction. He relaxed into it, let the pull happen. He went.

"There you go, KF. Good job. A little more..." What was that? That's -- not dark. There's a word for that. Several, maybe. He can't remember what it is. He blinks, because not-dark is hard on his eyes. Oh; eyes. He looks around, wondering if eyes do anything, if eyes and not-dark mean something.

"Hey, Walls. Look at me?" Looking. Okay. He looks, and there are eyes. Not his, you can't see your own eyes, he doesn't think. These are blue, and the face is white, the nose is angular, the hair is black and trim-shaggy. That's a face. He knows that, knows that face.

"Hi Wally. I missed you."  _Missing_. He remembers that. Missing is bad, missing hurts. Hands have fingers, and fingers drift up to touch the face, remembering... _red blood on pale lips, white teeth, blue eyes staring, dull, empty, nothing, pain, hurts, No!_

"Wally! Hey, hey, come back, it's okay, that's over, Wally, it's over." Hands are attached to long things, arm things, and the arm-things are curled around him. He's shaking. Bodies, those are things, and his is shaking. Why, what does the shaking mean?

"You're scared, Wally. Something bad happened, but it's over now. Everything is  _okay now_ , but for me to prove it, you have to come back, okay? You have to come with me." Blue eyes. Blue, blue blue. They're staring, pulling on him, hand-things, finger-things, arm-things tugging, pulling, taking him away from warm-dark-place.

"Come with me, Wally.  Please." Blue blue blue. Sad blue. Desperate blue. Emotions are things. Good things. Hurting things. Bad things? All things. "I need you, Wally."

"I love you, Wally."

"Please."

He comes. He doesn't know how, or entirely why, but when the voice-thing with the blue blue blue eyes leaves, he goes with it.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Wally heard was the annoying, steady (if fast) beep of a heart monitor. He hated those, like metronomes set to endless allegretto. They were irritating, and he opened his mouth to ask someone to turn it off.

Before he could speak, a bundle of arms and hair dropped onto his chest, squeezed him tight, and sobbed.

He opened his eyes to see M'gann hugging the crap out of him, tears dripping onto his hospital gown -- god he hated those, too -- and Connor watching from a couple feet away, bemused. He raised an eyebrow at he clone, who shrugged one shoulder in response. 

"You almost died," he said grimly.

"Oh."

M'gann pushed herself off his chest and smacked him gently on the arm.

"Yes, 'oh'!" she exclaimed. "First Robin, then--" she gasped as the speedster's naturally fast heartrate jumped, his face going pale.  _Robin. Dick. Omgod. No._ "No, no, you don't understand, Wally" there was a sharp slap to his face, stinging, but not hard enough to bruise. He looked at her directly, stunned out of his spiraling panic. "Robin is  _okay_. He's  _alive_ , Wally. I don't know how, something about a tube to make him breathe and transfusions and surgery and crash carts and a bunch of other words that I don't understand, but he's  _alive and recovering_." She placed both slim hands on his shoulders and shook him gently.

"He even helped us get you back. He's okay."

For a moment, Wally wondered if he'd started speed-running while lying on his back; the sound in his ears was the same, but he didn't think he was moving. His chest hurt, though, and the room was spinning around him. M'gann's eyes were wide, and her mouth moving quickly, but he couldn't hear her over the rush of the wind.

It was dark again for a bit.

 

"You scared M'gann, Baywatch," he heard this time. He blinked, the ceiling coming into focus slowly; the green-outfitted blonde sitting beside him becoming clear not long after that.

"...yeah?"

"Yeah. Turns out speedsters can still hyperventilate and pass out."

"...oh."

"Really wordy today, huh Kid Mouth?" The insults were offered with no bite, forced and stilted. Uncomfortable. Wally didn't know what to do besides stare at Artemis, who looked down at her hands, twisting in her lap. The lack of her usual confidence was disturbing.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," she said quietly after a few minutes. Her ponytail had fallen to hide half her face, and she peeked out at him from behind it.

"I mean, as far as you knew, I deserved it." He didn't expect her to laugh -- and he didn't expect her laugh to be so grim.

"I should've known better. And...I'm sorry about the things I said, the way I treated you, after...you know?" The hesitation was disorienting, and Wally just wanted to put things back to the way they'd been.

"It's okay. No harm done, and all." He shifted on the bed, his mind slowly putting the bits and pieces of everything back together.

"Wait," he said suddenly, sitting half-up on the bed. Artemis jumped up to try and press him back down, but he was having none of it. "Robin, where's Robin. M'gann said...is he really alive? Is he okay?"

The heart monitor was going wild, and before Artemis could reply, Black Canary was entering the room, catching the trailing edge of his frantic questions.

"Yes, Wally, he's alive. And if you settle down and let me unhook you, I think you can probably go see him." Wally froze, then struggled again to get out of bed, trying to superspeed out of the machines, but Canary stopped him with a hard stare. "Wally, you have to be slow, and very calm if you want to visit him. He was very, very badly hurt, and we had to revive him twice  _after_ the first time when you brought him back. If you can't contain yourself, you'll have to stay away; he's fragile."

Wally nodded, holding very still as Canary freed him from the monitors and IV, then hooked a hand under his elbow as he stood up. He trembled for a minute, but caught his weight relatively easily, and she nodded in satisfaction.

"Good. You were unconscious for a few days; we weren't sure how well you'd be able to stand at first."

"I'm fine. Just take me to Rob."

Canary chuckled, but led him down the hall into the CCU.

 

Robin was nestled into an elevated bed, bandages taped over the entire left side of his torso, a drainage tube coming out of the lower part of his left lung, a cannula looped under his nose giving him oxygen, and a whole  _slew_ of machines flashing and beeping around him.

He was sleeping, dark lashes lying against his pale cheeks, hiding those blue eyes Wally loved so much.

Wait.

Eyelashes.

_His face._

"Where's his mask?" He asked, looking around in alarm for the item, or the shades, anything to drape over his boyfriend's face.

"He doesn't need it here anymore." The deep voice made Wally jump, spinning to face Bruce who'd come in behind them. Canary smiled at them and left, closing the door.

"Mr. Wayne, I -- "

"I already know, Wally. Your teammates gave me a very  _descriptive_ account of what went on after Dick got hurt." Bruce's face momentarily shifted from a scowl to a pained cringe, remembering the girls' tears as they told him how nobody could stop the bleeding, how Dick begged to see Wally's face with nothing between them one last time. The teen hung his head.

"I should've done more, been  _faster_." Bruce stepped closer, grabbing the young hero by the shoulders and ducking down to stare him in the eyes with his best serious-Bat face.

"You did everything you could, and I am  _proud_ of you, Wally. One of the hardest things you may ever have to do is comfort someone you love while they are dying." He took a deep breath and prodded the speedster toward the chair by Dick's bed. "Now. I need to go back to the Manor for a few hours. Bruce Wayne needs to make a brief appearance, and I really do need a shower and fresh clothes. Why don't you stay here and sit with Dick until he wakes up?"

Wally stared at Bruce in utter shock, nodding with his mouth hanging slightly open. He scooted the chair forward, getting comfortable, and then took his boyfriend's pale hand gently in his own with resolve.

"I'll be here, Sir."

"I'm counting on it."

 

Dick showed no signs of waking up anytime soon, but Wally was content to sit with him, holding his warm hand, watching him breathe staring at the pink nails and lips no longer stained with red blood or tinged blue from lack of oxygen. It had been annoying attached to himself, but in here, the heart monitor was soothing, a constant reminder that his boyfriend was  _alive_ , that his heart was still beating.

 

The sound of rustling sheets woke him from a doze he wasn't aware he'd fallen into, a soft whimper reaching his ears. He sat up, watching Dick, but the bird's eyes didn't open; rather, the corners drew into a frown, lips moving, mumbling words Wally couldn't quite hear. He stood, bending over his boyfriend, running his fingers through the dark hair and caressing a pale cheek. 

"What is it, Dickie? Hey, babe, it's okay, I'm here. It's okay." The whispered words only drew more soft cries from the younger boy, and Wally leaned even closer, his ear hovering right above Dick's mouth, listening.

"Wally...love you, Wally. Didn't mean to die, I'm sorry. Kiss me...Please, Wally, I'm sorry...Don't leave me. Don't leave me, Wally, I haven't gotten to kiss you goodbye."

"Omgod." Wally's voice stopped in his throat, mouth working as he tried to reply. The heart monitor was starting to wail, and the door sid open as Black Canary rushed in, Batman right on her heels. "Robin....Rob...Dick, Dickie, listen. Listen, Dickie, I'm here, it's okay, we're both here--" His eyes were filling with tears all over again, watching the boy he loved in pain and unable to do anything to stop it.

"Just wanted to see you, Walls. Wanted to say goodbye. I'm sorry, Wally. Don't leave me. Just wanted to kiss you goodbye..."

Wally was frantic, damp eyes roaming over Dick's face, and in desperation, he seized his boyfriend's cheeks with firm, gentled hands and pressed wet, trembling lips against dry, chapped ones.

The kiss was chaste, barely there, just enough pressure to stop the endless, terrified movement of Dick's words and encourage him to settle, to just  _breathe_ the warm air feathering against his face. A moment passed, then two, and Dick's was kissing him back, sloppily, absently, as though he weren't fully awake and aware. He probably wasn't, so Wally kissed harder briefly, and then pulled away, stroking shaking thumbs over his boyfriend's cheeks.

Dick frowned, stirring with more purpose, head moving as though trying to chase the kiss. His eyes opened and roved over Wally, Bruce, Canary -- who leaned against the door, watching with a faint smile on her face. His gaze fixed on Wally again, went wide, and he tried to sit abruptly upright, reaching for the redhead.

Bruce and Wally grabbed him as he cried out and collapsed, guiding him back down to the bed and adjusting his pillows. 

"Easy, easy," Bruce cautioned, keeping a hand on his ward's shoulder. "Stitches, drainage tubes, gunshot wound, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." Dick nodded at Bruce, letting his mentor know he'd stay put, and then turned back to Wally, concern openly written on his face. "You're awake," he said happily. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, dude, you're the one everyone's been worried about." Dick grabbed his hand, and Wally squeezed it gently, swooping down to kiss the fingers lightly.

"No, you almost died. You were catatonic, and you were dying. If it weren't for M'gann and J'onn...I saw what was in your head, Walls. It was endless empty nothing, and you were just going to  _stay there_ and  _leave me_ ," his heartrate was picking up again, and Wally sat down on the bed, leaning his forehead against Dick's, keeping their gazes locked.

"I thought you were dead, babe. I ran until I couldn't run anymore, and then I decided I just wanted to be wherever you were. So I came back here, and I let it all go." He closed his eyes as Dick shuddered, pulling him closer, seizing him in a fierce hug. He felt, more than saw, Bruce move away and give them space.

"Don't you ever do that again, Walls. All I could think is that you were dying, you were leaving me and I never got to say goodbye." Wally's eyes opened again, and he brushed his thumb under Dick's, wiping away the tears there.

"I know the feeling. You  _did_ die, Dickie, you told me you loved me and didn't wait for me to say it back or kiss you or anything." More tears, and Wally swiped at them again. 

"I keep dreaming that you die and leave me all alone, that you're gone before I get there. Or that I'm dead, and you're still walking away, you're angry at me for dying and all I wanted was to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much you're loved." He gasps, coughs, his breath catching on the tears. "God, for superheroes we're such hopeless saps."

"Yeah, well, you're on the good drugs." Dick slaps him weakly on the shoulder, then laughs brokenly.

"We didn't get to say goodbye," he whispers. "What if next time--"

"How about we let next time worry about itself," Wally says, leaning even closer, nose sliding along nose, eyes crossing as he tries to keep staring into those blue orbs every second, "and this time, we enjoy saying 'hello.'"

Dick blinks, licks his lips, shivers.

"Hello, Wally West. I love you."

"Hi Dick Grayson. I love you too."

The kiss is tender, sweet, gentle, and Wally draws back before Dick is ready, making him moan softly in displeasure.

"Hiya Dude. Guess what, Rob? I love you."

The blue eyes were closed, and now they open halfway, blissed out, a grin stretching across the pale lips, and this time, there is no flashing memory in Wally's mind of that face covered with coughed-up splatters of blood.

"'Sup KF? That's asterous, because I love you too."

* * *

Healing takes time, both physical healing and mental healing.

Emotional healing, the repair of relationships, friendships -- that doesn't always take as long, and before Robin is back flying around in trees and ninja-ing his way through missions, everyone is happy and laughing and comfortable with each other again.

But sometimes Wally sees M'gann looking at the space right above Robin's heart, her eyes wet.

Sometimes Robin sees Wally flinch when Artemis makes just the wrong joke.

Sometimes Kaldur or Connor's hand lingers a bit longer than necessary on Dick's shoulder.

Healing takes time, but scars don't always fade.

If broken bones heal stronger, though, the Young Justice Team is very, very strong.

 


End file.
